The 2011 Weekend Has Arrived....

So, here I am, 2 sleeps away from what I can only describe as a life changing event for me.  The Toronto 2011 Weekend to End Women's Cancers Walk.

I signed up for this walk almost 1 year ago.  I knew that this was a commitment, I just wasn't prepared for how it would change me as a person.  I wasn't prepared for how many people would give so openly to my endeavour. And I wasn't prepared for how much this would become a part of who I am.

Our dear Becky, who was so happy that I was doing this in her honour, has now become my guiding light through the end of my journey.  Bittersweet is all I can say this weekend will be.  I know that I am a part of something huge, and something good, and something worth fighting for.... I don't really need to explain the rest, right?

I look at Becky with great admiration.  She lived her life with love in her heart - and she proved to all of us that truly, this is the glue that bonds lives together. 

I have so many people to thank for helping me get to this point; and I'll do my very best to list all of you...

Carrie B.
Lindsay A.
Heidi M.
Charlotte B.
Jeff and Alana P.
Scott T.
Teresa B.
Zvonko H.
Norfolk Fighting 3/4
Madeleine S.
Grete K.
Juliann D.
Ron L.
Rachelle and John S.
Jen who works with Jacquie
Neighbours who donated to my bottle drive
Friends and Neighbours who donated to rummage sale
People who attended our Think Pink Tea
Everyone who baked and volunteered for the Tea
People who came to our Rummage Sale for a Cause
Tranquility Place Retirement Home Bottle Drive
St. James Anglican Church
Paris Presbyterian Church
Rebecca and Joel
Stephanie
Crystal
Louise
Cheryl
Jamie
Nicole and Jonathon
Kim and Devan
Auntie Marilyn
Sharon and Garry
Tasha, Mark and Eric
Umma and Boppa
Oma and Opa
Aunt Mary and Uncle Paul
Jane and Justin
Sherry and Michael
Shirley, Michael and Joshua
Jacquie, Chad, Madi and Caiden
Mom and Ronnie
Laurie, Eric, Nyk, Hali and Dayna
Kim and Steve
Peter and Dorothy
Becky and Greg
Craig, Liam, Marek and Camryn xo

If I've forgotten to list anyone, please accept my apologies; but just know that I am forever grateful for the love and support of my family and friends, for the generosity of my donors, and for the giving spirit of my neighbours and community.

I am a better person for taking on this challenge.... I have gained more perspective and have found a greater appreciation for the people I am surrounded with.  I will not take life for granted ever again.  We are here for such a short time; we need to enjoy the life we have and seek out that which we deserve.  We need to fight for what we believe and stay strong for those who don't have the strength themselves.  We need to be selfless and not selfish.  We need to slow down and take in every single moment; because you just never know what's around the corner.

Thanks everyone.  My shoes are laced, my legs are limber, and my heart is ready to receive it all.  Wish me luck.... I'll meet you at the finish line ;)

Celebrating life....

So, I'm here.... just trying to recover from a busy week and FANTASTIC Celebration of Life party for our girl, Becky....

I don't think the party could have went any better.... Kim, your attention to detail is amazing. From the hanging 'bubbles', to the thumbprint guestbook and string of happy thoughts, to the luminary ceremony.... You should be so proud of your vision of what Becky would have wanted and expected.

You know she's proud, right? LOL! And everyone who knows and loves you, are so proud of your accomplishments.... not to mention, so willing to help; because, we're friends.... and that's what friends do.

Looking around that night, seeing tears, laughter, hugs, dancing, children playing, people eating.... things were just as they should have been.

A celebration.... For a woman who was friends to so many, who loved her family without condition or question, who made her friends feel like family, who gave so much even when she was not feeling well herself, who laughed, who opened her heart, who fought a battle to the bitter end and NEVER gave up hope....


These are the things we'll keep in our hearts and memories forever.... Let's live our lives the way Becky did....

Let's Celebrate Life....

;) xo

16 days to go....

With just over 2 weeks left til the Weekend to End Women's Cancers Walk in Toronto, I'm feeling very excited and proud to be a part of such an important movement.... and to be walking in honour of such an amazing woman, friend, sister, kind-hearted angel.... Becky.... my heart is overwhelmed with emotion....



I watched this video today for the first time since our team fundraising tea in May. I know that I am a part of something amazing. And I am certain that joining this movement will help the healing.

Becky, you are my inspiration.... We miss you everyday.... And I know come walk day, you'll be smiling down upon us and cheering us on.... Right? :)

xo ;)

30 days and counting....

So, I have 30 days left til the Weekend to End Women's Cancers Walk.... I'm ready physically; but, emotionally.... that's a whole other story.

When you lose someone you love so dearly, and at such a young age.... well, the questions are many and the answers so few.

Last night, my friend Kim and I went to tidy Becky's house while her husband and kids were away. It was the first time I've been to the house since Becky's passing. It was tough.

For the first half hour, I couldn't get my bearings. I walked around the house trying to make sense of things; but realized that I was there to help a friend, and that I just needed to suck it up and get down to business.

Being in the kitchen was the hardest part for me. That's where we spent most of our time comparing Mommy notes.

I realized how much I really miss her; and that I haven't really dealt with the reality. I still have moments where I tell myself, "Right.... she's really gone." She still feels so close.

When am I going to be able to make peace with her passing? When will it stop hurting so much? Why, why, why did she have to be the one?

Questions, I know, will never be answered.

I'm ready to walk for Becky. I'm glad that Greg and the kids will be there to meet me at the end.... I wish it were different and that Becky would be there too.

Life can be so unfair.

The $5 Challenge....

With just over 1 month left til the 2011 Toronto Weekend to End Women's Cancers Walk, I have proposed a challenge to all of my Facebook Family and Friends; which I have decided to do here as well.

I challenge all of my 3 Monkeys Inc blog readers to donate just $5.00 to me to help raise money for much needed cancer research benefiting the Campbell Family Institute at Princess Margaret Hospital.

I've heard many people question where the money goes.... and trust me; I wouldn't be doing this for just any charity. I believe in the work at Princess Margaret Hospital; and I've heard and seen stories of the people who's lives have seen a positive change as a result of the work being done at PMH.

So, come on people! Are you up for the challenge?! Click the link below; then when on my personal profile page, click the Big Green Donate Online Now button - Easy-Peasy-Lemon-Squeezy!

$5 CHALLENGE for 3 Monkeys Inc Readers

Have a great Monday everyone ;)

Friday night video....

"...I'll find strength in pain...". Mumford and Sons - The Cave.

Reflection....

I haven't really felt much like being around this space for the last few weeks, and I think we all know why. Grief is a tough thing to gauge. I thought of Becky a ton over the past 4 years, everyone who loves her did; knowing that she had this disease; grappling with the reasons why; trying to make sense of everything.... and now that she has gone; we think of her even more.

I guess what I'm trying to understand for myself, is that it's ok to be sad. How many times have I said that very same thing to comfort others in the past? Too many it seems; and here I am saying it to myself. And even more now, I am finding myself stopping before I get short with the kids or anyone or anything, really.... Because in the larger picture, the day-to-day things we get upset about really don't deserve our expended energy.

Life is a gift that many of us take for granted.... we assume that we are going to be around forever. Then something like losing one of your best friends happens and it shakes everything up. Life without that person will never be the same. You will miss them so much and wonder everyday when the hurting will stop.

The pain will subside - eventually. I don't think it will ever go away completely; but, that's ok.

And the issue for me lately has been to stay the upbeat, positive and fun mom that I've always been with my own kids. So, I've resolved to ask myself some simple questions when I find I'm getting stressed or upset:

1. Is this really a big deal? and,
2. Can something be learned from me getting upset?

If the answers to both are no; then I'll just try to move on. Now, I know that I am only human and some things are going to happen (especially where children are involved) that will send me to the boiling point; but that's when I need to step back and try to put things into perspective a little better. A little breathing space.... we all know the little trick of counting to ten first, right? It really does work.... I've tried it ;)

And I know that my pain is just a teeny little fraction of what others are feeling over Becky's passing; and again, that's something I weigh against my own feelings and try also to put into perspective.

Aaanyway, sorry if this sounds like a bunch of rambling mumbo-jumbo; but I feel some relief in getting it out.... thanks for listening.

I'll be back with some crafty fun in the near future.... have a great day all ;)

Comedy of errors....

To the best of my abilities, I will recount the events of last evening as they unfolded.... For all intents and purposes, names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved....

It all began with a phone call. "Hay-ay. It's me." It was.... Katrina. She called, ummm, Juanita, everyday at least once just to say, uh.... hey.

"Hey!" Juanita replied.

"Whatcha doin'?" Katrina asked. "I was just wonderin' if you wanted to go for a ride.... we can take some flowers, Bella loved fresh cut flowers from the garden."

"I was thinkin' of doing the same thing, sure let's go." Juanita said.

So the girls grabbed a coffee and a tea and off they went, searching for a friend at dusk.

Upon arrival, the girls drove the rows looking for freshness, not really knowing where to start. After several minutes, they came to a spot that was covered with beautiful fresh flowers that had been so obviously laid with love. Could this be the place? They took an initial inspection and after several minutes of rumination, they decided that this must be it.

Just then, a police car drove up slowly with high beams shining. Katrina approached him while Juanita stood back a bit. To their understanding, places like this didn't have hours of operation, it was just known they were always open.

Juanita could hear the two discussing why the girls were there, and heard the police officer offer an explanation for his approach. It seemed there had been trouble with some young hooligans toppling stones. The officer just wanted to make sure that wasn't the case.

After the brief exchange with the officer, Katrina and Juanita grabbed their drinks and a lantern from the car. Once again they approached the mound of flowers.

Katrina rested on the grass on one side of Bella and turned on the lantern. Juanita took the other side.... They started talking.... to Bella. They told her how she was in a beautiful place, and Katrina noted to Bella that at this time of the evening there were lots of mosquitoes.... Juanita had said she should have brought her mouthwash mosquito repellent, and the girls both chuckled because they knew this was a 'Bella thing'.....

Just then, Katrina sat up very quickly and wide-eyed, "What was that? Do you hear that? I think I saw black and white.... Is that a skunk?"

"What? Where?" Juanita asked. "I can't see anything at this time of night."

Though they could still hear rustling in the trees, they went back to chatting with Bella.

As the animal sounds grew louder and drew closer, Katrina slowly started to rise to her feet. Then, in an instant, one rather large skunk, followed by three smaller skunks, emerged from the brush and seemingly took notice of the girls.

By this time, Juanita was on her feet and observed that the mother and her brood were starting to charge the girls. "Oh my gosh! They're coming at us!" Juanita shouted.

"They're coming! Run!" Katrina cried out as she grabbed the lantern and her coffee. The girls were running full tilt toward the car, the whole time laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"You're gonna step on that dirt!" Juanita yelled to Katrina, and as stealthy as Katrina was, she averted the bare plot with a couple of quick side steps. And still, the girls could hear the rushing of the pack behind them, and the loud clanging of Katrina's lantern as it was jostled about.


Juanita was the first to reach the car. She tore open the car door, jumped inside and slammed it shut again. She felt safe, then noticed Katrina fumbling on her side of the car with her coffee and lantern and keys. It hadn't occurred to Juanita to open Katrina's door for her.... instead, Juanita broke into uncontrollable laughter. Katrina hopped into the car in a flurry of clinking and clanging sounds.

The girls sat in the car laughing hysterically and saying that this was definitely Bella at work. She wouldn't have wanted the girls crying over her grave.... they had fun together in life and so it must continue after Bella's passing.

And that's the story, as it was told to me by, a-hem, Katrina and Juanita....
Have a great day ;)

Walk on....

It's not good-bye.... it's, I'll see you again....

It is through tears and much sadness that I am sharing this.... my friend, our friend, our beautiful kind-hearted Becky, has left her earthly body and gone to be with her God....

We will never forget the beautiful person you are.... and you will live on forever in our hearts and memories....

Be comforted in knowing that you've left us so many special gifts.... the greatest of those was letting us into your heart....

You loved your family so deeply, and that showed in so many ways.... I loved hearing you call your babes "little goofs" and listening to you talk about how you and Greg would tease each other.... your playful spirit will be something they will hang on to throughout their lives.... and know that while you're no longer here in body, they will feel your presence every. single. day.

You are our Angel now.... and, likewise, we are now yours here on earth.... be comforted in knowing that everyone who loved you will now be watching over your family....

We will miss you so much, and in time we'll heal.... but you have changed us all forever - we are better people having known you....

Thank you, Becky, for being the true, genuine daughter, mother, wife, sister, niece, friend and teacher that you are.... we will carry this with us, forever....

xo.... 'til we meet again ;)



photo source: stephanie eidt photography

On friendship....

How do you measure friendship?

Is it by how much you see a person? How much they are willing to do for you? Is it by the presents they give you, or is it by how much of your crap they'll endure?

For me, it's none of those.

For me, friendship is measured by the feelings I get when thinking about someone. It's measured in the way someone embraces me when I've had a rough time with my kids. It's measured by how much laughter there is at girl's night (and also how much food is brought, no just kidding)....

It can be measured by the gifts one receives.... and I'm not meaning 'stuff'.... I'm meaning the gifts of love, the understanding, the emotional support, the strength they see in you when you don't see it yourself, the overwhelming need you get to be a better person because of them, the rallying, the 'hey, my door is always open', the knowing that someone's got your back....

Friendship can be measured by someone simply.... holding your hand....

I am so fortunate to have forged the friendships I have.... because they are so much more than friends, they're sisters.... and in times of trouble we come together to help each other, no questions asked.... we just do, because.... that's what we do....

Thank you to my friends, my sisters, my strength.... you all know who you are....

And thanks so much to you, B.... thank you for holding my hand today, I really needed that from you.... xo ;)

The Road Not Taken....

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost~

No regrets ;)

A note for a beautiful friend....

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."

-C. R.-

We all love you B.... xo ;)

Working day....

This little blog space has been feeling very neglected lately; but, I assure you, I'm always thinking of it.... it's just lately I've been busy with life in general - you know, sick children; school trips; helping friends; lounging poolside on hot days.... ok, technically the last one doesn't quite qualify as "work"; but it is definitely needed on some of our scorching Southern Ontario days....

Today is another busy one.... my beautiful friend Kim has organized a fantastically HUGE get-together tomorrow for all of Becky's family, friends and supporters.... So for me today is a prep day.... you know, getting veggies cut, rice and quinoa cooked, etc, etc, etc, so tomorrow morning I'll just have to toss the two salads together and fill and wrap a ton of rice paper veggie wraps.... sounds easy right? Fingers crossed tomorrow morning goes well ;)

And I'm hoping to throw together a pretty little Irish-inspired dress or top for my girl-babe.... and by Irish-inspired I just mean green.... I really don't have time between now and 2pm tomorrow to learn and feverishly knit an aran sweater or stitch-up a traditional tartan kilt.... not to mention, I don't have the slightest idea about how to do either....

Aaanyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm still kickin' around.... and if I do in fact manage to finish a dress or top for Hammy, I'll be sure to post it in this lonely little place....

My hunny will be by later today with your Friday night video, have a lovely afternoon until then ;)

There are still some surprises in life....

Take one of your biggest wishes, for example.... you dream about it, you long for it, you plan it over and over and over in your head knowing that in reality, it may never actually happen....

Well, for the past couple of months, I've been honoured to be in on a little-eensy-weensy-teeny-tiny secret.... a covert operation of sorts, master-minded by the wonderfully giving spirit of my beautiful friend, K.

Imagine all of your family and friends coming together to grant you that one wish.

How would you react? Would you be mad? Would you be elated? Or would you just be so overwhelmed that you were sent forever into a catatonic state.... okay-okay, that may be a little far-fetched....

I think your reaction would be shock. excitement. and absolute bewilderment.

But take it for what it is. Trust me. We did it because we love you. We love you, that. much.

Surprise!

B, you inspire us everyday to be the best we can be.

See, dreams really do come true.
Never. Stop. Believing.

xo

Apologies....

Clearly, I have taken on waaaay more than I am capable of....


the wheels on my wagon have officially fallen off - I believe I've lost them somewhere between last month and our team rummage sale last friday.... I'm positive once May has passed, I will be able to find them.... hopefully.

So my sincerest apologies for not being able to participate fully in Kids Clothes Week.... I have nothing planned for next week, and I'm very confident I can make up for my lack of presence around this blog space....

I have my teams largest fundraising event scheduled to take place this coming saturday - A THINK PINK TEA - I am super excited to be hosting this event alongside my wonderful teammates - and I am very grateful and thankful to those family, friends and community members who are joining us for this fun, empowering and inspirational afternoon.

Again, I'm so sorry for not being here.... My hubby will be here tomorrow to post my friday night video.... and I'll be back perhaps as early as sunday evening....

Thanks for being such great and understanding friends ;)

Can we just skip this month????

Do you ever feel like you can do it all? Ever bite off more than you can chew? I think it must be a mom thing.... We all do it. I know it. You know it. Yet, we're able to put on this stoic face that lets everyone around us know that we are in control, when really, we're never totally in control of anything. Is that what it comes down to though? Control? We need to be the commanding officers of our own little army. The centres of our own little universe.

I CANNOT do. it. all. There, I've said it. Now you say it. Take a deep cleansing breath, and be fine with the fact that NOBODY expects you to do it all. No one except yourself, that is.

Aaaaanyway, just to give you an idea of what my May is shaping up to be, here's the short list:
Make toy soldier costume for school play (oh, and it needs to be to school for TOMORROW. I got a real head start on it though.... this. morning.).
Hosting Rummage Sale for a Cause Fundraiser with teammates and friends.
Helping a friend with a Plant Sale/Fundraiser at our school.
Baseball for my boys starts (2 nights a week).
Hosting THINK PINK TEA Fundraiser with teammates and friends.
Attend baby shower for a friend.... I LOVE BABY SHOWERS... AND I LO-OVE BABIES, YUMMM!
Signing-Up for baseball for myself. (What, you ask? Do I play baseball? No, but what the heck, I've got time.).
Mom-to-Mom Sale... I've got a table... anyone care to join me?
Kids Clothes Week Challenge being hosted by the wonderfully creative bloggity-blog Elsie Marley.... please do check out this space, it's so full of fun and inspiration.

So, this is everything I can think of off the top of my head... oh, there's more, there's ALWAYS more. I can get through all of this, I know I can. And I know it's really not as much as it seems.... and truly, truly, I love being busy. I must, otherwise I wouldn't commit to SO. MUCH.

As a side note, and totally-totally off topic; just yesterday I had an urge to check out the Habitat for Humanity site, really it was just my way of escaping all of the aforementioned happenings.... Anyway, I've always wanted to help on a build. So, here's what I found out.... a-ma-zing organization, a-ma-zing volunteers, doing a-ma-zing things for people. I'm serious when I say, I will do this one day... only catch is, I'd love to do it internationally. What a fantastic way to see the world and all of the wonderful people in it. Check them out, you will be compelled to help.

Anyway, it's sunday morning, which is pancake morning around here - and oddly enough, pancakes always put me in a good mood even though I don't eat them; but my kids always get so excited and that makes it so much more special.

This little menopausal moment has been very, very helpful folks.... I feel so much better now than I did when I sat down to type this. Sometimes all we need is to itemize our to-do lists.... it seems to give us better perspective, don't you think? Ahhh, *sigh of relief*.

Let me know how your May is looking.... Oh, I've had one taker on my offer to sew something for the Kids Clothes Week Challenge, anyone else interested in something for free? Please leave me a comment if you're interested.

Have a great sunday everyone ;)

Makeover complete and a tissue paper pom pom....

I finally took a picture of my dresser and nightstand with the freshly painted hardware attached.... and now, they truly are a happy pair.... this is what they should have been dressed in from the day they were born....


I love the way they turned out. And needless to say, I am now addicted to the idea of spray painting EVERYTHING! Watch out little thrifted lamp.... you're next!

And today, I even dragged my friend Sherry to a thrift STORE.... not the THRIFT STORE of the same name that I adore; but, one that I have been meaning to venture to for some time now. And I was NOT disappointed. The pricing was exactly what I expected, which is to say it was inexpensive and, dare I say, thrifty.... just the way I like it!

I came away with a pair of capri pants, and 3 books for just over $8.... and for a mere $2. and change, Sherry purchased a new-to-her summer skirt and an easter book for my little Hammy (Hammy says thanks).... All-in-all a FaNtAsTiC thrifty day....

And, in other news.... while surfing the wonderful-world-wide-web for inexpensive centrepieces for the THINK PINK Tea Fundraiser that my teammates and I are hosting in May, I remembered this great tutorial for tissue paper pom poms from Martha Stewart. I picked up some tissue paper today to do a mock-up of this pom pom, only I left one side flat so that it would sit nicely in the centre of our tables.... can you picture these in the right shade of pink, THINK PINK pink????


What do you think? Too simple, or simply fun?

Fun, Fun, fundraising....

All of my little ducks seem to be getting into a neat and tidy row.... and this makes me very, very happy; and very, very relieved, aaaahhhhhh....


I've previously talked about how myself and 3 friends have joined together as a team to walk in the Shoppers Drug Mart Weekend to End Women's Cancers in September of this year. Well, fundraising events are kicking into high gear.

We've decided to host a THINK PINK Tea and a Rummage Sale for the Cause.... all of the support and donations from friends, family and community have been overwhelming to say the least. It always amazes me at how willing people are to just give. It's a very simple thing, isn't it. Giving.... I've always loved to give things myself. And not in a self-important or self-serving way. I just love giving people a smile every once in a while. And I love how, by nature, people just want to help where they can.

Aaaanyway, so, my mind has been going a mile a minute trying to think of any way that I can raise money for my own journey, as well as for our team. The challenge put forth by the Weekend Walk people for the month of April is to raise $500. I'm taking this challenge on to get closer to my personal fundraising goal. I have some things in mind that I need to get on right away, and I've got to get bugging some local businesses for their help too.... I guess what I'm saying (to myself) is that today, the last day of March, is my final rest day for the next month. Everyday in the month of April, I will devote some portion of time to reaching my $500 goal.... There, I've written in down for all to see that I am very serious about this challenge.... gee, I hope I can reach it ;)

I'm open to any and all suggestions for meeting this challenge....

Have a great day everyone ;)

image courtesy MSN

For a friend....

Hope and patience are two sovereign remedies for all, the surest reposals, the softest cushions to lean on in adversity ~ Robert Burton

Always on my mind, B, and at your side every step.... chin up and keep smiling ;)

Much, Much LOVE xoxo
Julie