Water Bugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun.
For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another.
"One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?"

Up, up, up it slowly went....Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return...

"That's funny!" said one water bug to another.
"Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second...
"Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third.

No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.

Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together.

"I have an idea". The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why."

"We promise", they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk.

Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail.

Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings...The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere.

By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying around, just as he had been doing some time before.

The dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why."

Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away.

Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...
"I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least, I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went."

And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.......

From: "Water Bugs and Dragonflies : Explaining Death to Young Children"
by Doris Stickney

Life Lessons....

So, it's been a while... a long while.
I've taken a bit of a mental break.  A much needed break.

While I love this little space, it does take much effort and time to keep up.  I guess I went through a sort of burnout.

I LOVE CRAFTING, THRIFTING, RE-CREATING, YOU-NAME-IT... but, it all takes time.  And when you have 3 littles under foot, you just need to put some things into perspective.  Family first.  Family FIRST.

Don't get me wrong... I've never struggled with priorities.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I put my children and husband first and everything else falls into place after that.... and me?  Well, I'm usually last on that list.  That is, until 2 months ago.  I realized that if I didn't start putting ME a little higher on that list, then all else in my life would start to failing.

My girl-babe is starting school in the fall.  Oh. My.  I don't even want to think about it.  My whole life, I feel, was formed, shaped, guided-by-fate to be a mom.  And I know I'll always be a mom to these 3 little wonders; but, in all honesty - I am the woman who could have been a mom to TEN little wonders.

But, my resolve...

My resolve...

I know I can only have three.... and my time to be the full-on-full-time mom is coming to an end. 

I needed to take stock.  Put ME first. 

Holy Crap!  Did I just say 'Put ME first'?

I did.  And, I have.

Time to reclaim this body of mine.... time to think of what I want out of this life (aside from the obvious - my family).

I've joined the gym.  Working with a trainer who is amply qualified to kick my A**!  And - I'M LOVING IT!  I. LOVE. IT.

I am a consultant for an AMAZING direct sales company which I believe in WHOLEHEARTEDLY!

And, when September finally comes, which I know, inevitably, it will.  I will have some free time to fill with another Mom-preneurial side business....  but, until then....

Drink in EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT I have left with this sweet little lady and her brothers... I cannot miss a thing.  I owe it to her, I owe it to her brothers.  And most of all, I deserve - DESERVE - to relish every second while I can - while they'll still let me.

I had the best compliment a mom could get yesterday on Mother's Day...

'My mom is as special as LEGO.'

I love my life... what else can I say?

Happy Belated Mother's Day.  **Miss you B  ((((HUGS))))**

;)

2011

What can I say about the last 365 days?

It was full of hope, love, growth, happiness, sadness, rallying, tears and loss....

My children grew another year older, 8, 7 and 3.... I've watched them change in some pretty amazing ways, and everyday they surprise me by what they say and do; their little personalities come shining through their every move.... Liam, the joker; he's taken on Mommy and Daddy's crazy sense of humour; he is the protector of his younger brother and sister.... and at times, the antagonist.... Marek, the creator; he is our lover of all things art; who's personal expressionism is evident in his tens of thousands of finished pictures that range in size from a regular 8.5x11 inch sheet of paper to a minuscule scrap of memo note pad and can be found in every nook and cranny of our house; he admires his older brother and loves his baby sister so much that she often feels smothered by him.... Camryn, the puzzle queen; she mastered the art of the puzzle before she was 2 and hasn't stopped, quite often every square inch of open floor space in my living room will be covered by in-progress and finished puzzles, she loves me 'more than cereal' and I have to say that I love her just as much and more....

My husband, Craig, and I both turned 40, on the same day, one month apart.... I'm happy to say that his birthday is before mine, and that when he was 40, I was still in my thirties (at least for one month, it's something to hang onto, right?).... We celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary, and also saw 21 years together come and go.... We laughed a lot, we talked a lot, we held hands and stole kisses and squeezes whenever we could, which was also, a lot.... We love each other fully, and our children 'to the moon and back'....

We took our first family camping trip to Killbear Provincial Park.... and just as the name suggests, there were bears.... on our site.... every. single. night.   By the last night, I was a little more comfortable with there being just a thin layer of fabric between my family and the man eaters.... I can't wait to go back!  Seriously.

In September of 2010, I committed to walking the September 2011, 2-day, 60km walk to help find a cure for cancer.... I trained and trained, and walked more than 400km leading up to the weekend.  My inspiration for joining this amazing movement was my dear friend Becky, who's personal battle with cancer, sparked a fire inside me and compelled me to do something.  Myself and my teammates raised over $9,000 to support the cause; we collected bottles, we held a rummage sale, we hosted an amazing tea and silent auction and so much more.... and through it all, the amazing people we encountered were supportive and thankful of our journey.... and through it all, Becky was there, cheering us on and encouraging our efforts....

Sadly, her health took a turn for the worse, and on July 10, at home, with her husband at her side and her children nestled in their beds, she lost her 3 year battle....  Our worlds came crashing down around us, and lives were changed forever.... She was a stellar human being who's caring heart was open to everyone she knew.... She was an amazing mother and wife; a daughter to be proud of; a friend who made her friends feel like family....  Our lives will never be the same.... but we will carry her many admirable qualities with us and try to live as she did....

We celebrated the life of our Becky at an amazing get together masterminded by my amazingly talented friend, Kim.... The celebration saw Becky everywhere.... in pictures, in family, in friends, in tears, in laughter, in hope.... in her children; little mirror images of her....

The walk itself, was an AMAZING experience.... to see the hope, the tears, the togetherness.... To walk; and challenge my mind and body in a way that I never thought I could.... To know the pride that my friend would be feeling if she could have been there at the finish line.... And seeing my family there, cheering on the route and at the end.... And seeing Peter, Becky's dad, at the finish line, and hearing him say "Becky would be proud".... and walking with my amazingly strong teammates and kindred friends, Crystal and Louise.... it made the whole year worth all of the effort, all of the work, all of the stress....

Thanksgiving, Halloween and Christmas have all past.... and they were spent surrounded by the love of my little family and my wonderful circle of friends....

I pushed myself to limits I didn't know I could reach; my heart was torn by the loss of an admirable soul and mended by the joy that is my family, my children, my husband.... So, while it was a challenging year, with great sadness, there were also many, many blissful moments.... I cherish them all.  My view of this life has been changed.... I will never take for granted the time I have in this life.... If I learned anything from these last 365 days, it's this: live every single day with joy in your heart; tell those who are closest to you how much you love them and what they mean to you; don't sweat the small stuff because it's not worth it; and don't ever, ever hang onto the baggage....

So, tonight, I raise my glass to the year that passed; I raise my glass to Becky and the astounding woman she was; I raise my glass to living a life full of family, friends, love and joy.... Happy 2012 everyone....  I can't thank you enough for your friendship here in this space....

Cheers!  To the prospect of a fantastic and fruitful 2012.... all the best to you....

xxoo   ;)
Julie

RANDOMNESS: admiration

While sharing family pizza night with a friend and his three children, my friend told me how he wanted to make something extra special for his children to honour their mothers memory.... He wants to make memory quilts for each of them, made from her clothing....

I've seen these quilts before, they've been around for years.... I'm just so moved with emotion that he wants to do this himself.  What a beautiful way to work through the loss of someone who meant the world to you.... and what an equally amazing thing to gift to your children - something you made with your own two hands that represents the love you have for your wife and the love you both have for your children....

The admiration I have for her since I've known her extends to every single one of her family members.... I can't say how I would react if I were in his shoes - I can only hope that I could be one tenth as strong....

Reluctance by Robert Frost

Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

Yielding with grace, and holding on to memories.... could never be treasonous. It's admirable, and what's needed to move forward....