Friday, February 25, 2011

Ramblings of a crazy woman....

I don't know about you; but, when I'm putting on my make-up in the morning, I find that my mind wanders.... and not always in the same direction - it goes to places that I sometimes find really bizarre and sometimes it goes to what I'm making for dinner.

This morning I found myself thinking about how I got to where I am.... and I don't know, maybe it's because my hunny is a whole 7 hours away; but, I started wondering where I would be if I had never met him....

It's funny how life's roads can twist and turn.... When we met, we had both just turned 18.... I was the freaky new girl in grade 13 homeroom clad in white Doc Martin boots, black turtlenecks and hounds tooth minis; he was the quiet, tall guy with hockey-hair (a.k.a. mullet - totally acceptable in the early 90's, BTW).... And it seemed the moment I saw him, I knew we would be together; never mind that I was still dating someone else from my previous school for 2 years.... But, I knew it wasn't going anywhere; and not that I was looking for long-term commitment; I mean I was only 18. I think I was just ready for someone more mature and not into the EVERY weekend partying groove.... that got really old, really fast.

I was in a very vulnerable state at 18.... trying to make sense of a childhood that was lonely and uncertain; trying to make peace with things that had happened that were totally out of my control and ability to fix.... trying to forgive myself for wasting so many of my childhood years blaming myself for things I didn't even understand.... and on top of all of that, trying to decide what I wanted to be for THE. REST. OF. MY. LIFE.... phew...

And, here's this guy, who I was totally smitten with, and at every opportunity would sneak in to the arena to watch him play hockey and then leave before he could see me.... not that it would matter if he did, he didn't know who I was anyway. He didn't know that when it came down to it; I was stalking him.... I really was! People go to jail for that, ya know?! I mean, I wasn't psycho-stalker-girl; I didn't murder his bunny or anything.... But, when I did get up enough courage, I told his friend that I liked him. And the rest, as they say, is history.... well, after I ditched the other one anyway.... please don't judge me.... Literally, it was two days of talking to my husband on the phone before I let the other guy go.... and it was funny (well, to me anyway) but, the other guy was as emotional as a rock - hated anything sentimental; even threw out a bunch of flowers that I had given him, in front of all of our friends no less, then stomped away from me.... But, at the end, when I finally told him it was over, he cried.... What-the-XXXX!!!!! Are you serious?! I was speechless.... and truth be told, felt kinda good that I actually cracked that nut and caused him some pain.... *evil little laugh and wringing hands together*

But; aaaaanyway, here I am.... February 3rd marked 21 years together for my husband and I. Wow! He met me at my worst, and helped me to figure out the person I was meant to be. He helped me to see that I was a good person and that I deserved love and attention. I've embraced his love in this kung-fu grip ever since. He gave me three beautiful little versions of himself.... He makes me laugh every day.... And tests my patience too.... But in the end, we compliment one another.... I feel very rich.... See, for me, being rich doesn't involve money, it should never involve money....

Safe travels home hunny, we all miss you ;)

I'll be back later tonight with my Friday Night Video.... enjoy your day everyone ;)

photo courtesy of Microsoft

1 comment:

  1. Awww. Your story sounds so similar to mine in so many ways. Met Tom the day I moved away from home, when I was 17 and we were living in the same co-ed residence, I was in college he was in university.. only HE was 21 at the time (yikes!). After 3 weeks of pestering, he finally agreed to go out with me (he felt like I was too young) and we've been together ever since... It's a sweet love that can withstand growing into adulthood and finding yourself... I'm so thankful he stood by me and let me become who I am now (which is a considerably saner person). 21 years, wow Julie, that is AMAZING. We've just passed 13, and will be married 10 this summer.