Dear Laundry Hamper... Why are you always full? Don't you understand that I need a day off from time to time? And why is it that when I do take a day off you seek revenge by not only filling yourself to the brim, but also spilling out onto the floor? I'm starting to dislike you...
Dear Telephone Solicitors... Why do you insist on calling my home when I've added my number to the national DO NOT call list? No, I don't want to purchase my groceries through your company and have them delivered in a big freezer that takes up what little space I have free in my basement... No, I don't want you to come and clean my furnace, chimney or ducts... No, I do not want you to try to win back my business by offering me a deal that you will revoke just months after I re-sign with you... However, what I do want is for you to stop calling me at dinner time or at 8pm at night when I'm trying to get my children to bed... why don't you leave me your name and number and I will call you at 3 in the morning to see if you would like to switch from cable to satellite...
Dear Unfinished Crafty Projects... I have been a very neglectful crafter... I miss you all and think of you often... I promise, promise I will finish each and every one of you as soon as I can fit you in... have faith in me, please...
Dear Panhandling Psychopath... You scared the hell out of my friend when you jumped in front of her car spewing profanities because she declined you a handout after you were asking her and other bank customers in a threatening and badgering manner for money for you and your "lady friend"... maybe you should re-think your strategy... maybe she didn't have the money to give because she has two little boys to take care of... you are a bully and a coward and for your actions you do not deserve anyones' charity...
Dear Winter... Where was all the snowman snow? I'm soooo ready to embrace your sister, Spring...
Dear Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Mini Muffins... I love you for breakfast, lunch and dinner :D ...
Dear Monkeys... I love you sooo much... slow down... mama's not ready for you to grow up... no, no, not just yet...
I love this post too!!! You are a great writer!!!
ReplyDeleteThis time the blog made me cry tears of that's-so-friggin'-funny-I-think-I-could-pee-my-pants!!! I wish you could blog EVERY day - it makes mine when there's a new posting!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies... I look forward to the feedback as well... and Tash, I would love to find the time to blog everyday... but, you know how it is... maybe if I blogged everyday, it wouldn't be as interesting... and I don't know that I have that much interesting to say...
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